Who Am I Now
In preliminary results from a large study on how people transition into retirement, Amabile and colleagues found that, for many, the transition begins smoothly enough but then develops into retirees questioning their own identity and puzzling over how to structure their days as their familiar work life fades into the background.
Who Am I Now
Over four years, the researchers conducted interviews and surveys of 120 professionals at three quite different companies located in different parts of the United States. To get a cross-section of how we think about retirement in different phases of our careers, they talked to millennials just starting out in the work world, workers inching closer to retirement age, late-career professionals entering retirement, and those who had already retired from those same companies.
The early findings revealed that many retirees follow a typical pattern of psychological adjustment. They eagerly count down to the day they can take a final bow at the office, put their feet up, and coast through their Golden Years. Like a boiling kettle removed from the burner, most retirees initially feel a blissful release from intense pressure when 40 or more hours are no longer dedicated to a job each week. An empty calendar and a silent alarm clock in the morning can be beautiful things.
Yet, for many, that giddy glow starts to wear off within weeks or months, as they shuffle through a sometimes-tough adjustment period where they struggle with restructuring their lives and letting go of a big part of their identity as employed people.
A central question for many is this: Should they fill their days with pleasure, like cruises, golf, and meeting friends for breakfast, or should they devote themselves to more purpose-driven, meaningful activities, like volunteering or becoming active in local civic organizations?
The presentation was told primarily through the Story of Mary*, a 26 year old woman who was diagnosed with systemic lupus erythematosus (lupus) four years after beginning psychotherapy. Although Mary has lupus, the issues relate to those with myositis as well, or any other autoimmune disease.
These diseases are chronic (there is no cure), and the effectiveness of treatment is unpredictable. Though drug-induced remission may slow the progression of the disease, there may be mild to serious side effects.
During this lengthy process, the disease continues to cause damage and wreak havoc on the body, and may cause pain that can be debilitating. It is encouraging to note, however, that continued medical research, resulting in earlier diagnosis and treatment, has given patients hope in being able to lead fuller, more productive lives.
A common theme that emerges among people living with an autoimmune disease is the feeling of being alone with their illness. Many find that family and friends are available and supportive initially or when there is a crisis such as hospitalization, but that support fades over the long run.
Many people with chronic autoimmune disease feel that there is a lack of understanding among those closest to them about their experiences and an unwillingness to learn more about their illness. This can create feelings of rejection, which can lead to increased feelings of isolation and loneliness.
She further states that trauma specialists have discussed how illnesses requiring intensive medical intervention or result in critical events can trigger flashbacks and unwanted memories of these experiences. Dr Vitacco stresses that it is very important to remember that many people who live with autoimmune diseases are able to maintain a positive self-image and to live their lives for periods of time with their disease taking a secondary position.
It may be necessary to consider taking a different career path; the effect(s) of being diagnosed at a young age is different from being diagnosed at retirement, for example, as issues of social security disability, forming intimate relationships, marriage, and having and caring for children are considered. If diagnosed at retirement, plans are altered and reconsidered based on the level of ability one has. This phase of the life cycle can bring into sharper focus the issues of mortality that we begin to face at this time, and priorities can be reevaluated.
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So I am a physical body and an emotional and psychological (or spiritual) being. The two together make me a person. Being a person means that I have virtues and flaws, gifts and needs, possibilities and defeats. I am basically good, but I am capable of evil. I am neither an angel nor a monster. Being a person means that I am a social animal, needing connection, recognition and acceptance from others, while simultaneously knowing myself as isolated and solitary, with many experiences which are never fully shareable with others. However, I also realise that this paradoxical condition is a universal experience, and this enables the emergence of empathy and compassion for others as it affords glimpses of understanding and solicitude, mutuality and intimacy. Being a person means that I am like all other persons, but also unique. It also means that I can never provide a genuinely definitive answer to the question.
Human beings are defined by a sense of personality, experiences and reason. We are often inclined to believe that the face we see in the mirror is us, a thing which has developed a personality through experiences. Here the body is merely a tool for the true self, the mind. It is however an error to conclude that the body is not significant for selfhood. Without a body a mind would not be able to make certain types of judgments.
When I look at the mirror in the morning, the face which stares back at me is not me. It cannot be me, it is too old to be me. I am retired a long time already, and we all change considerably through the years. I call it an evolutionary process; but still, this face I see does not correspond with what I feel I am.
I am a particular self. So, what makes a self particular? Its story. That is, the events and objects surrounding it, and its actions on, reactions to, and perceptions of them. You are you because you have lived your life, and I am me because I have lived mine. Even if I had a Siamese Clone we would still have different selves because he would perceive the world from a different viewpoint than me. An important aspect of this story about stories is that the story exists independently of me.
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Jacqueline Durand's face was nearly erased two days before Christmas and one day before her 22nd birthday. It happened when a dog sitting job in Coppell, Texas, a suburb of Dallas, went terribly wrong.
The instant after Durand opened the front door of Justin and Ashley Bishop's home, the dogs were not like the "lovely" dogs that she said she had met once before. The dogs dragged her from the front door to the living room. Lucy, a German Shepard mix, and Bender, a boxer and pitbull mix, pinned her down, tore off her nose, ears, lips and cheeks to the bone.
Thirty-seven minutes passed from the time police arrived to when first responders felt safe going into the house. Police body camera footage shows the dogs holding first responders at bay, leaving Durand agonizing for help. 041b061a72